 |
| |
Twelve Coping Skills For
Families
Developed by Anne White, Member and founder ARAFMI (WA) Inc
- TAKE HEART: Chronic mental illness is not the end
of the world!
There is hope. Medications do help to relieve the symptoms
for many patients. Research teams (based in Queensland) are
hot on the trail of a suspect chromosome.
- LET GO OF GUILT: It is nobody's fault, any more
than cancer, diabetes, etc... "There's nothing you could or
should have done differently, nothing you left undone that
would have prevented the disorder's occurrence" (Dr Bill
Hearn, ex QEII psychiatrist, Block D). A genetic
predisposition existed already and over most of the other
contributory factors you would have had no control.
- BECOME INFORMED: "Knowing the enemy is half the
battle". This way your expectations will be more realistic
and consequently, there will be less disappointment for you
and less sense of failure for the person with the illness.
- REMAIN IN CONTROL: of your household and your
life. Remember whose home it is (who worked to establish it
and who continues to work to maintain it!) and set
consistent limits on what you will permit. Verbal and
physical abuse is not tolerable no matter what the
disability or circumstances.
- ENJOY THE GOOD DAYS: Praise each small sign of
normality and effort to take care of themselves. In real life
there are no guarantees. Your worst fears may never be
realized; there may be some happy surprises in store. ALL
the planning in the world can't provide for the
unpredictable.
- ESTABLISH OR CONTINUE WITH AS MUCH INVOLVEMENT WITH
NORMALITY AS POSSIBLE: Hobbies, study, a job, community
commitment, fun activities, anything to prevent you becoming
unhealthily preoccupied with the sad fact of mental illness
in your family.
Don't agonize but organize!
- KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR: Laugh, not at your
ill relative but at the ridiculous situations, which so
often arise. Laughter (like tears) relieves tension. Chronic
tension, unrelieved, destroys your health.
- LEARN TO RECOGNISE THE STRESS YOU CREATE FOR
YOURSELF: e.g. agonizing over what might have been.
Master the art of stress management, relaxation, meditation,
prayer, pruning the roses, cuddling the dog, whatever works
for you. "Your health is in the hands of those whom you
permit to disappoint or anger you" i.e. we can choose our
responses.
- LET GO OF YOUR ILL ADULT RELATIVE: Once you've
found the most helpful doctor or therapist, leave them to stumble through
their own mistakes. They are their own
person, however disordered and has to learn his own coping
strategies, manage their own medication, odd life-style,
tottering relationships, debts - the lot! Their mistakes will
be painful and often expensive but unless we let them "pick
up the pieces", their dependency will tighten like a noose
around our lives.
- FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES: We're all stronger than
we think. We can pick ourselves up off the floor as many
times as it takes. People with mental illness have unique qualities, rare
strengths if we look hard enough. The roller-coaster course
of mental illness, heart-breaking, confusing, exasperating
as it often can be is supportable when we stay with the
strength of the self helpers (ARAFMI). Regular participation
sustains confidence, courage and sound perspective.
- REMEMBER SELF-CARE: and the equally valid needs
of your healthy family members. Chronic mental illness can
impose an enormous strain on these other relationships -
neglect them at your peril!
- REACH OUT: to caring friends and the community.
Accept that some will find it impossible to understand or
respond helpfully but that the onus is on you and me to
further the task of public education. Many folks will be
supportive provided we show them how.
|
| |
Copyright © 2004 ARAFMI (WA) - Disclaimer
Having problems with the website? -
Click here
Site sponsorship by the
Disability Services Commission of WA |
|
|
Quick Links
Other Languages
Developing Positive Attitudes
Loss & Grief
.
Social Withdrawal
Coping Skills
Difficult Behaviours
Mental Illness Information For Young People
|
|
